Fan Fiction by a Five Year Old: The Hello Kitty Chronicles

My daughter, Elena, reads a lot, so it’s natural that eventually she would start writing — which she has done. Well, she wrote in the sense that she comes up with stories, but to actually commit them to paper would strain the limits of time and legibility. So I dutifully wrote down her epic stories in her Hello Kitty pocket notebook.

Though you can’t tell, these stories follow a pretty close parallel to events in her own life, so consider these narrative vignettes quasi-autobiographical. I did minimal editing; only where things were completely nonsensical did I suggest changes.

So what you read below are the true-to-form, novice imaginings of a writer who refuses to blow her nose properly and sometimes has trouble listening to her parents.

Hello Kitty and Mimi were having a fun party at their house and all of their friends were invited to the fun party.

When their friends were there, they had a game section for them.

Next they had a ball section for them because they couldn’t play inside the house, because they would wreck the house up.

The last part they had: unwrapping their own presents. And inside were all the things they had just played.

When they got home they sure had lots of fun, especially with the boring parts.

Notice in this next one the great pun on the eye color and geting them checked, and the pun on Hello Kitty’s name and saying “hello” to her. I don’t think Elena knew she did it.

Helping New Friends

Hello Kitty was alone. Mom and Dad were gone. She was the only one in the house. Mama was having a baby in a couple of weeks. They thought her name was going to be Mimi.

Today Mama was having a baby, then she popped out. Mama was amazed how beautiful her face looked. Hello Kitty said kids are fun already, but except it’s a baby and really fun, too.

I wasn’t sure about having a baby at first. Mimi is really cute, too.

“Thank you,” said Mama.

“Look at her eyelashes!” Hello Kitty said.

“I see,” Mama said.

“And her eyes…they’re green like ours. Oh, I mean it’s pink instead. Maybe I need to get my eyes checked,” Hello Kitty said, laughing.

“Oh, a new baby. I forgot this time,” Papa said, giggling.

She even said, “Mama! Dada!”

“Mama! Dada!”

“She said it again!” Hello Kitty said, giggling.

“Hello Kitty,” Mimi said.

Guess what was on her mind when she wrote this.

It was about time that Mimi was a kid. When she was grown they played Legos together. When they were done they knocked it over. And they built it again and again and again until they got tired.

Next they had a snack, then Hello Kitty told Mimi, “There are real bugs in there. There was a female black bug.”

Then Mimi farted. “Sorry, Hello Kitty. I didn’t mean to fart right in your face.”

Then she farted over and over again. And then some of the foofs talked to her. It said, “Foof!”

Then another said, “Put glasses on!”

“Did the foofs just talk to us?” Mimi and Hello Kitty both said.

Then one of the foofs that Mimi foofed said, “The name of this group is called Farty.”

She didn’t fart again, but it was pretty weird though.

Then another fart said, “We’re disappearing. Ahh!”

The DS maguffin is, of course, a Nintendo DS.

Getting Addicted to Some Things

Hello Kitty and Mimi had a pink DS. They played it almost their whole lives.

The next day, though, it was Hello Kitty’s birthday. And the cake was fairies with a DS in the middle. And the fairies were all circled around the DS.

Then Hello Kitty blew out the candles and licked off the vanilla icing on the candles. She unwrapped all the presents her friends got her. Glorious presents. They were all very pretty and good for her.

Someday, cars may last as long as they do in this story.

Company

Today they were having company. They were getting babysat by their Grandma and Papa. And they were giving them a few presents before they left, and Grandma and Papa were giving them a few presents, too.

When they got there, they got a real car to drive in! It was a pink car! They drove in it and when they had their own kids, they could put them in the back seat.

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