I’m Not Saying It’s Aliens

…because it’s probably not aliens that are involved at all with this—it’s all large-scale electromagnetic stuff. I am not for or opposed either way to aliens being at least covertly mucking around; my beliefs aren’t based on what I can perceive and understand. Aliens would be a good story to come across in reality, but a cyclical, global disaster is also just as captivating.

Nearly every conspiracy theory about anything you can think of gets it wrong, but more often their proposed “truths” are more correct than any established, official story. The sheer amount of stories people can devise to explain phenomenon has no limit, but even if their reasoning is incorrect, that doesn’t mean their conclusions are incorrect. We can all recount times others (or ourselves, if we’re feeling honest) were right, but for the wrong reasons. It’s really a matter of statistics and acknowledging limits of the human mind to determine truth. As we intake the world around us, the wiser minds among us know the “correct” story can be constructed from all the available tall tales and mythologies. The truth is more likely to be scattered, not centralized.

Since everything is a story, I can tell you one right now, based on the science behind this video. It’s up to you to determine its conspiratorial nature of it. It’s quite all right if you do. I don’t claim this is the truth.

Suppose the Carrington Event tipped off some astute folks that they should be paying more attention to the sun, or even the role a physical force, which we will call the “Schnoggleractor Force,” played on earth and in the cosmos. Suppose those people were coming to some conclusions about the Schnoggleractor Force that gained a growing following among practitioners of the arts— conclusions that some factions didn’t want to accept, or keep to just themselves and their inner circle, or that those conclusions conflicted with a silly master plan that could only be possible, not in reality, but in the minds of those factional contrarians who conceived the plan. The data about the Schnoggleractor Force is building up to even more grander, undeniable conclusions, especially when looking at the stories and mythologies of the past that kinda sorta seem to imply those conclusions about the Schnoggleractor Force might have a basis in previous civilizational experience, and those certain contrarian folks have their livelihood threatened. This growing, post-Carrington scientific consensus about the Schnoggleractor Force and its conclusions are both sensible and popular, since it plays very well into spectacle and novelty with people in power, and more common folks, as the Schnoggleractor Force is much easier to understand. It has both of those advantages on its side; not an easy foe to defeat. What to do? The contrarians would have to come up with an alternative explanation that is more in line with their can’t-really-happen-but-whatever-plan. The best course of action is to replace the proposition that the Schnoggleractor Force is so dominant with another force known to exist, which we will call the “Hedumpletonic Force,” and promote that force as the dominant one, and downplay the Schnoggleractor. Hedumpletonic Force proponents would have to exceed the spectacle and wonder that Schnoggleractor Force folks are providing. The Hedumpletonic Force proponents have connections that make it a little bit easier to make this happen, but the road would be a long one, and the solution would have to be enduring enough to keep everyone from looking at the Schnoggleractor Force more closely. The Hedumpletonic Force requires a few other, rather outlandish-seeming theories to be established in other scientific disciplines, like the Theory of Natural Volvinstifiendication, the Big Bronteen, and the Dicapayrolingcentrism in order to work, so those would need to be put in place. Hedumpletonic Force folks would also have to come up with a figurehead for the first stage of their movement—someone who could rally popular support more quickly and easily, to catch up to the decades of love shown for the Schnoggleractor Force. The science has to be there, for sure, but with the growing emphasis on the visual from print media, the image is the thing. They could pick anyone; there’re plenty of smart folks with the right credentials coming out of universities, who are working beneath their abilities, like as a clerk in a patent office. Since the shift to emphasizing Hedumpletonic Force has to appeal to the public, he’d have to be memorable. Give him a crazy haircut and photograph him making silly faces, in addition to the academic material, and have the industry slowly ramp up the debates and drama. He is only really there to get the ball rolling, because more figureheads and popularizers will emerge in the coming century to reinforce and excite the sensibilities of he public. The hand is dealt correctly, and after a few decades of the public, the media, the universities latching onto the Hedumpletonic Force, the cards will simply need to be played right. A decade or so more, and governments get in the game, and now the game is all but won officially. The Schnoggleractor Force and its adherents are still out there, but the money is at the practical level, and the Schnoggleractor Force delivers it in spades. It essentially created the modern era and all its creature comforts, but the campaign to address cosmic-scale phenomena is solely to be addressed by the Hedumpletonic Force (though a reason isn’t given as to why the Schnoggleractor Force couldn’t simply scale up to cosmic levels). When you have enough good food to eat, air conditioning, transportation, and entertainment, it makes sense that the public would look to the stars for what’s next. It’s not a hard sell to get folks roped into the mystery; remember that a good story can sell anything. Outer space is always enigmatic, and the theories based on the Hedumpletonic Force are nowhere easily as testable as those based on the Schnoggleractor Force. Testing Hedumpletonic Force hypotheses require lots and lots of money and special training, and since the industry has the Hedumpletonic Force as the accepted basis, every observation needs to fit with those theories. No other ones can be considered. Here is where the process can really ramp up: Hedumpletonic Force scientists, armed with their arcane training and methods, and a dose of rhetorical humility, can simply say that they are constantly “baffled” by all the things they observe in the cosmos, and instead of revisiting the predictive models issuing forth from the Hedumpletonic Force’s theories, the scientists simply ask for more money to figure out why they are confused. You’ll get more models and more theories built upon the models and theories already established, and since so much of it is forensic and untestable, it can’t be subject to the intense falsifiability for which science-by-itself is known. The Schnoggleractor Force is still very much in play at the day-to-day level. The knowledge and application of the Schnoggleractor Force can be mastered by high school students with only a few years of intense training, some equipment that a modest hobbyist’s budget could sustain (not at all the overwhelming Hedumpletonic Force-detecting instruments cost). but since the public is convinced that cosmic-level truths require endless years of training and credentials and millions of dollars to determine, the more elegant explanations that the man on the street could grasp after a coffeeshop conversation and some napkin sketches, it is mostly ignored or ridiculed when brought up.

But again, it’s just a story I made up.

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