Sci-fi and Fantasy Movies and Series Reviews, Part 43

After Earth

After an injured Ranger Corps officer and his son survive a crash landing on a depopulated Earth, they must contend with the hostile environment and feral Ursa creatures to survive.

There was something incomplete going on here, like M. Night Shyamalan just gave up halfway through directing the thing. I want to invoke the ol’ “he owed someone a favor” reason and leave it at that.

The Ursa creatures killed people because they sensed the fear in them, and the Rangers were able to fight the Ursas because they suppressed their fiear. The idea of removing “fear” from a human’s psychological makeup is too reductionist for me to take seriously as a premise. Human emotions and orientations overlap too much to have the “useless” parts of fear to be absent without negatively affecting everything else.

The design of the ship interface appeared to be partially organic as well as mechanical and digital. The cutlass I thought was interesting as a morphing melee weapon. There was a scene where the son, Kitai, reclines on the forest floor for sleep, holding the retracted cutlass handle on his stomach, parallel to his body. Hopefully the cutlass had a safety mechanism, because if he accidentally deploys the thing in his sleep in that position, he’s going not going to have a working jaw or working genitals when he wakes up.

Gods of Egypt

The god Set has stolen the Egyptian throne from his nephew Horus, the rightful heir, and the key to restoring the kingdom lies in a humble thief, Bek.

There was some grumpy criticisms about the casts’ were European ethnicities. There were some ethnic African (the sub-Saharan kind) folks, and one actress that looked some sort of mixed race. I don’t know. Mediterranean cultures tend towards cosmopolitanism, and the racial makeup of ancient Egyptians aren’t as straightforward as the broad (inaccurate) categories we have today. Either way, it was an interesting take on the mythology if the gods an their powers were taken literally.

Some plot elements tripped me up. Set killed Mnevis after a failed mission, despite Mnevis’ loyalty, but he let Hathor live after he took over the throne, despite how she would’ve posed a threat to his rule when it started. Set seemed the loveable jerk up until the Mnevis-killing point, due in no small part to Gerard Butler’s charisma, but the audience has to hate him for something. Killing Osiris in the beginning was pretty mean I guess, because he seemed like a nice old guy king, but there was barely time for the audience to attach to him. Osiris explicitly declared every Egyptian equal, because that’s what modern audiences need to hear from an ancient culture on the other side of Earth, if we’re ever going to sympathize with their ruler. So maybe Set’s regicide of Osiris was supposed to make us hate him.

Hathor’s power to control animals was another question mark. It never crossed her mind to summon an army of whatever overgrown, overpowered animals that seem to lurk all around Egypt, to completely knock Set and his forces out? There was a scene where Hathor and others are being chased by two large fire-breathing serpents in the desert—rather fearsome creatures, I thought. Hathor mind-controls one of the snakes to burn itself. Why do that when you can tell it to bash the rider off its back, and Hathor and the other two can simply ride it to wherever they need to go? Better yet, why not use your powers from the start on both of the snakes and you’ve got the beginnings of your zoo army? Just use your powers, lady!

Masters of the Universe (1987)

He-Man and allies teleport to Earth in an effort to keep the Cosmic Key out of the clutches of the despotic Skeletor.

Back to the Future meets Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), maybe? There were a number of things that held the story back. I think they focused too much on the low-fantasy aspect of fantasy-world humans/aliens taking their battles to Earth, despite how well-written the two Earth-based protagonists were. We that secret-identity aspect of Adam moonlighting as He-Man, that only a few knew about. We didn’t get to see any of the Eternian monarchy of which he was a part of. Maybe some of that was because Dolph Lundgren didn’t have the acting chops to make that work.

Skeletor’s situation and characterization were completely different than what was established in the cartoon series…another issue. The cartoon established him as a comical, grandiose rebel with bumbling henchmen. The henchmen here in the movie were still goofy but it was muted, but the greater deviation from the series was Skeletor as a cold and calculating warlord who had the upperhand over the reigning Eternian forces from the start. Inserting an ersatz Darth Vader made it a different universe. I would have had Skeletor, depicted maybe in the opening credits, finally come across a workable scheme using the Cosmic Key, and as the plot progresses he becomes a more formidable opponent to He-Man and the monarchy. This could happen in tandem with establishing Julie and Charlie’s story on Earth, so that things can flow as they do when the Eternians teleport to Earth. But I’m an amateur hack and these Hollywood writers make a living off of their craft. Despite all these flaws, this was still good 80’s fantasy cinema with an unmistakable Bill Conti orchestral soundtrack.

Maze Runner: The Death Cure

The young leader of a group of escapees need to break into the city of WCKD to free their allies.

It was kind hard to write a summary of this movie without knowing the previous installments, and I mostly don’t like stealing from movie synopses elsewhere, but there you go.

This filmed leaned really heavy on the “teenage spring catalog models in positions of power and in constant danger” trope, but the story itself seemed decent. There was supposed to be mazes involved, but I didn’t see any, unless you consider traversing enemy installations as mazes. I suppose the city itself is a maze, but aren’t most cities?

One of the actors suffered severe injuries filming the opening heist scene, which wasn’t bad as far as opening action scenes go. Filming halted until he recovered, and they kept the scene in the movie. By the way, the little linked interaction in that video starting at 7:47, with the girl holding up the aircraft pilot, made me facepalm pretty hard. Her gun is easily within the pilot’s reach, one of the biggest tactical mistakes you can see in any movie, really. Being that the pilot is a part of a well-trained armed force, he’d know he can just flip his arm up and smack the gun out of her hand, or at least knock her hand hard enough away to punch her lights out. The way she has her arm positioned, too, is bad. That gun is going to recoil and smack her good in the face if she fires.

Attack of the Unknown

While transporting a drug cartel leader, A SWAT team engages a deadly alien force.

I couldn’t finish this one, but not just because of the silly nudity and degeneracy in the beginning. There was about 10 minutes of useful exposition scattered in the first half hour before the second act began, and even then the exposition didn’t really pay off. I contrast this the similar Battle Los Angeles, which spent the same amount of time telling the backstory and setting up the arcs for the protagonist and his individual squad members.

Once the awkward crabclaw aliens appeared, I x’ed out and went to sleep.

Mob Psycho 100, Season 3

Mob tries to ask Emi out, Dimple is gone, the Psycho Helmet Religion gets going, and there’s a huge broccoli tree in the middle of Seasoning City.

I might’ve paid attention to this a little closer if I knew it was the final season, which it was. I generally like to see how stories end overall, and the end of Mob and Co.’s stories didn’t feel as such here. I feel like I should watch this again because the story is like a puppy: so wholesome and innocent in its own way, it doesn’t sit well that I played with it only once.

Beowulf (2007)

Beowulf pays a visit to a Denmark to rid the kingdom of the monster Grendel and his scheming mother.

I liked the depiction of Grendel as an oversized, overpowered child, more disgusting and pitiable than menacing. The animation is dated (my daughter said it was “Shrek-like”) but serviceable. Besides a few passing mentions of God and Jesus, most of the quasi-Christianization was removed, because Hollywood.

I really thought Sean Bean voiced Beowulf because they look similar, and Beowulf dies, as is Sean Bean’s wont in his career. You don’t get a spoiler alert for that because you should at least know the cliffnotes of the story to begin with. I don’t even like the story that much but even I can remember the basics.

Samurai Champloo

In Edo-era Japan, after an out-of-luck girl rescues two errant swordsmen from execution, they repay her by traveling with her to find the “samurai who smells of sunflowers.”

From the guy that directed Cowboy Bebop, Shinichirō Watanabe. I watched Champloo when it first came out in America, on Adult Swim, and liked it, though a recent re-watch made me reevaluate that. A lot of it didn’t hold up. The odd-trio dynamic that made Cowboy Bebop work so well was exaggerated a little too much in Champloo. Mugen was just a little too aggressive all the time, Jin was a little too passive and quiet all the time, and Fuu was a little too ditzy all the time. A few unforgiving racial stereotypes here and there, but the Japanese are outrageously racist by American/European standards, so it’s not a surprise (what’s is a surprise is how little racism creeps into anime; there’s probably a nuance in their racism and how it’s depicted in their art that I’m not aware of).

Lots of stories involving prostitution. I don’t know much about prostitution or its history, but the societies where it was legal, I want to say there was some sort of etiquette and protocols built up around institution that everyone followed. A prostitute who didn’t put out for a customer would be heavily reprimanded or penalized, and a customer that got aggressive with a prostitute would immediately be thrown out and banned. The Ugly Angry Horny Guy tropes are a dime a dozen in stories anyways, but it felt too much even here.

Deathstalker II

Deathstalker assists a girl claiming to be a princess who was ousted by her evil clone.

I had no idea what this was when I decided to watch it; I just saw the Frank Frazetta-styled poster art and thought it was an 80’s fantasy movie. It was that genre, up to a point, but for the first 15 minutes, I couldn’t tell if it was a satire or the acting was especially bad for no reason. I assumed the latter, because it didn’t seem very funny to me, at least, not as funny as something like a Mel Brooks send-up would be. Maybe the satire was more subtle. I figured it out, anyways, and I powered through to the end.

One thing I noted was the wrestling match between Deathstalker and Gorgo, and how evenly they were matched and how unusual that is to see on one-on-one matches in films. Usually the enemy is the ostensible stronger one, and the protagonist has to find his “weak spot” or some method or maneuver that the enemy doesn’t know about. Deathstalker is 5 ft 9 inches, if we’re going by actor John Terlesky’s height, and we’ll assume he’s got the typical upper body strength of men. I’d say more than the normal man since you can tell he’s definitely well-conditioned just by looking at him. Gorgo, however, though she’s a woman, was played by Dee Booher, who was 6 ft 3 inches. She was a literal giant compared to an average woman’s height and build, and she was taller than most men, including Terlesky. She wasn’t misshapenly fat but had a formidable powerlifter kind of build, and we can assume, since she’s the chieftain’s champion, she knew how to wrestle well. Gorgo had the height and weight advantage, while I want to say they were evenly matched in strength, but Gorgo had the slight advantage there, simply because Deathstalker weighed less and would be easier for her to toss/throw/wrangle, than vice versa (remember, this is wrestling). His one advantage, though, and—what do you know?—he actually mentioned it, was his conditioning. He called it his “stamina.” He had muscles but they weren’t huge, and probably 10% body fat or lower, so Deathstalker looked like a pro track athlete, runner, or swimmer. The match somehow made sense in that they were fairly matched; no one had a strong advantage over the other. Why am I finding this level of realism in a bad parody movie?

Pacific Rim: Uprising

The son of Stacker Pentecost is conscripted to lead a team of Jaeger pilots against a new Kaiju threat.

Great effects, etc., but writer-director Steven S. DeKnight really botched up the premise. Jake, Stacker’s son, is living a irresponsible, layabout lifestyle by vulturing parts of the Jaeger mechs lying around from the last war. Everything about that sentence is completely backwards. The son of the guy who sacrificed himself from a world-destroying nightmare would be showered with praise and given special treatment for the rest of his life. He’d be snatched up by the American government (or whatever ridiculous governing body that formed during the Kaiju attacks) and presented as a goodwill ambassador the world over (see my statement on the Attack on Titan finale below). And those trillion dollar Jaegers wouldn’t be lying around, waiting for scavengers to pick them apart…at least the more expensive ones. They’d be recovered by the military and the Jaeger program would continue in some form. These ideas are more realistic and they still set up the opportunity for conflict and character growth.

Here’s a better premise, at least the start of one that would need refinement. I picture the opening credits showing Jake being all famous with traditional news reports and interview footage, then the actual movie starts with a demonstration sequence of his new Jaeger pilot team:
Jake Pentecost, the son of Stacker Pentecost*, has been living an active life after his father closed the Pacific breach and ended the Kaiju attacks on earth: talk show appearances, speaking tours, honorary PhDs. Feeling like he could do more to honor his father’s legacy, he enrolls in the academy and enters the military as captain of a squadron of Jaeger pilots, as the world’s armed forces patrol the Earth over for further Kaiju threats. A new Jaeger “clone-and-drone” technology is introduced, that allows a single pilot, as opposed to two, to control a mech remotely, reducing pilot casualties to zero in the event of conflict. Jake and colleague Major Scott Lambert are skeptical of the clone-and-drone initiative’s effectiveness, but they are bound to the chain of command.

When a Kaiju attacks the southern Indonesian coast, the drones fight back but are ineffective, and instead two of Jake’s pilots put the monster down in a manned Jaeger. With no other recourse to address more incoming Kaiju attacks, Jake and Scott decide to go rogue and form a paramilitary corps of traditional Jaeger pilots. However, they need to find recruits willing to put their lives on the line to make it happen. One of them happens to be a teenage girl caught stealing Jeager parts to build her own tiny working mech…

* You can’t find a better action hero name than something like “Stacker Pentecost.”

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Scott Lang (Ant-Man) and Hope Van Dyne (the Wasp) are sucked into the quantum realm, alongside Hope’s parents and Scott’s daughter, and must figure out a way to return to the normal-sized reality, while contending with the mysterious and powerful Kang.

What in the world happened with Ant-Man? The first two movies were pretty good, and Lang’s appearances in the other MCU movies made for an everyman’s view on every…thing. Now we have this absolute mess of a story. MauLer has a nearly 6-hour breakdown of the train wreck, and it’s honestly much more entertaining than the movie itself. At the very least, watch MauLer’s analysis from 8:34-28:32 for a taste of how bad the characters are, at least.

If you ever watch a movie or read a story where a normal, mentally-healthy protagonist is verbally abused for the doing the right thing, or something good for someone else or the world, you’re not watching an action movie, or a science fiction movie, or a mystery, you’re watching a psychological horror movie. What does is say about the writers of this movie, about their traumas, insecurities, and nihilist worldviews rattling around in their Millennial skulls, that they are okay with sympathetically scripting absolute monsters that gang up and consistently mistreat one of the most likeable and, dare I say, innocent characters in the franchise? Marvel’s movies have been mid to awful after the Thanos arc, and this is one probably one of the worst of them so far.

Attack on Titan, The Final Season (Part 3)

Armin, Annie, Levi, Connie, and the rest of the remaining Scout and Warrior Regiments battle with Eren and the Colossal Titans to stop the Rumbling from continuing over the rest of the world.

Decent, tragic ending to an excellent story Here’s a good explanation of the ending: “Attack on Titan’s Ending Explained” though there are other videos by boisterous, overly-attached YouTube halfwits, claiming to know the secret meaning that everyone else missed. There was one I saw that claimed Ymir communicated with Eren in the Path realm because she had the power but lacked the will to act when she was alive, while Eren had the will but not the power to bring it to bear. That seems plausible, but since I like everything in threes, it bothers me that there’s not a third person involved in that exchange to satisfy me. Maybe Eren or Mikasa has something to do with it, but I can’t say.

The grand statement of “humanity is violent no matter what, and will continue to be” is not a particularly insightful one. It seems like I am bagging on the story too much, but I rather liked it, and it has a lot of rewatch value to pick up on the things that can you miss with the first viewing, keeping track of all the different factions in play, etc. Nicely contrasting with my criticism about the Pacific Rim: Uprising premise, the surviving members of the battle—the ones that stopped a total apocalypse—actually ended up traveling to different nations as inspirational figures and peace ambassadors. I would like to thank Hajime Isayama for writing a great story and actually ending it, especially before it got repetitive, boring, or ridiculous.